Jake Puts A Cat On Craigslist

I recently moved into a new apartment and was forced to get rid of a cat I had. So, I did what we all do when giving away a live animal. I left the cat's fate up to the internet.

Wikileaks Founder Julian Assange Set To Release KFC Original Recipe

Julian Assange, seen here claiming that Colonel Sanders was
actually never an enlisted member of the U.S. military.

LONDON -- In a controversial new interview with Forbes Magazine, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange hinted that with his next leak he will reveal the original KFC fried chicken recipe. Both Assange and the Wikileaks organization have apparently obtained 6GB worth of documents, rumored to number somewhere near 800,000 pages, which not only includes a complete list of all the secret eleven herbs and spices, but various temperatures at which the chicken is fried, battered, and stored.

Reality TV Show Ideas

A lot of people hate reality TV, myself included. But, after interning at a production company for a summer, my perception has changed. I hate it even more.

TV Review: Steven Seagal: Lawman

Steven Seagal: Lawman
A&E TV
0/5 Stars

If you're like me, when you heard about A&E's new reality show Steven Seagal: Lawman, you were ecstatic. "Oh sweet," I said to myself, "Police officer Steven Seagal, snapping necks first and asking questions never." But, upon tuning in to the highly anticipated season 2 premiere, I was left wanting. He doesn't actually do anything.

Dear President of Lincoln Park Athletic Club

Dear President of Lincoln Park Athletic Club,

I regret to inform you that I will have to cancel my membership with your establishment. I was told that instead of simply phoning you, that I must in fact send a letter and my membership will be canceled within 45 days of your receiving it. You’re probably asking yourself, “Why does this man seem so disgruntled? Don’t I own one of the best gyms in the midwest?” No. You don’t. For several reasons, all of which will be explained by your personal assistant Andre, who is reading this letter aloud to you right now. The list is as follows:

Red Lobster Halts Delivery Service During Endless Shrimp Fest

ORLANDO, FL-- After a considerable dip in company stock, suits at Red Lobster headquarters have decided to discontinue their short-lived delivery service. “We took a chance” says Clarence Otis Jr, CEO of the Darden Restaurant chain, “and it didn’t pay off. In fact, it did the opposite.” Many speculate as to why a company held in such high regard would think this to be a money maker. Otis went on to say, “It seems our marketing department got the math wrong on this.” At an emergency shareholder’s meeting, the thought-to-be revenue increasing equation was released: